Pheasant shoots

Dear Political leaders,

I realise there is current debate about fox hunting. Let me enlighten you to another vermin: pheasants and a need for a change in the law.

The current situation is that I can only shoot pheasants during their shooting season. Today, I have had five pheasants on this years potato patch. Last year we lost about 80% of our potato and turnip fields to pheasants. To help you understand the situation let me turn it slightly:

I propose that all crofters take up the hobby of rat catching. We will all travel to London, Edinburgh and other cities and ‘release’ baby rats. Don’t get me wrong, I’ll only release about 9,000 in one small section of London, say Westminster. We then will leave them to eat your food, gnaw through your property and make themselves to home. However, you must remember that you can not set traps or use rent-a-kill to deal with them unless it is ‘rat season’. My fellow crofters and I will then dress up in suits and what ever London fashion is and come to have a weekend of catching rats. Now, the weather may not be right or may not feel up to it so we may spend the day shopping or having cocktails. All in all, we’ll probably kill about 2,000. And, we’ll leave you with the rest because, hey, you had them anyway and they are a part of the city, never mind the fact that the ones we leave will breed and create more. Me? I’m off back to my hedgerow and not bothered that you now can’t do anything about them until the next season.

Like the sound of it? Didn’t think so, but we have to put up with estates doing the exact same thing with pheasants. Pests that eat our food, make a mess, and pass on diseases to our poultry.

Is it not the time to start applying sustainability and less catering for the few with the shooting hobby?

Yours faithfully,

The annoyed crofting wifie

As the crow flies

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Note from Crofting Wifie to self:
Loo lids are manufactured by people who don’t realise you need to stand on them to take pot shots at the local jackdaw population stealing eggs from your chicken coop. They therefore don’t last very long after just a few attempts of getting the pests.

Tim, just another job to add to your to do list when you get home (putting on a new lid, unless you want some romantic bonding shooting jackdaws together).

The next time we design a house, can we put in those thin slots that they have in castles for shooting out of? This velux window malarkey is seriously affecting my pest control.