Lasting hay


After the crofter gave the cows a bale before going to work I was pleasantly surprised at how long it was lasting. Upon closer inspection  I discovered the ring feeder had been pushed up against the fence…and the electric wire. Nothing like electrical currents putting you off your dinner. However, it didn’t take them long to head back to the feeder once I managed to push it back.

Ode to Fiongall

I would like to take this moment to thank Fiongall for the past two years as he today stepped down from his role as head of our crofting steering group. He has headed the group with a canniness well above his peers and electric fencing. However, he has delegated his role to his Progeny, Hjaltland (aka, Lugs).
He headed to pastures new to become Chieftain of the Freezer Space. This new role is a promotional step for him as he works with the ‘Meat and Greet’ committee from 11th October. He will be back at the croft in his new role from that date so why not support him on his first day and come along that evening to meet up with him and get some quality, home grown Shetland beef? All meat will be packaged ready for your fridge or freezer.
(All puns intended, Drew will not take offence if you would prefer Fiongall, I’m sure she would have been proud of his achievements at such a young age…)

Blessing of the steer

Well my beloved Fionngal (inserted sarcasm still required), I have been looking forward to this since you broke through my electric fence in a nanosecond. You are now booked into the Dignitas of the cow world.
May the grass rise up to met your mouth. May the sun shine to give luscious grass. May the rain fall gently on your delicious rump and may the trailer welcome you with open doors. And then, we will meet again…
Gorge my dear boy, your days are numbered!



Crofting with the mini crofter



Dear Parenting Book,
I do like the aspect of routine that you cover in your book, I just have a few questions:
Morning naps for 6 month olds: if it takes me 27mins to brush cut one section (from the machine stored and put back away), do I really need to wake up mini crofter after 30mins or can I change/remove all bits of grass before hand and get a cuppa? Does it really affect him later on in the day if I delay it or would the bits of grass be beneficial as he enters the weaning stage? How much dirt/grass can they handle at this age?
If I get a call from the butcher to go pick up the meat in 10mins, but I’m 30 mins walk from home and 10min drive, am I better waking mini crofter up before I sprint home with him in the buggy or leave him asleep to bounce around until the change over into the pick up which will rudely awaken him? Can I let him sleep while I sort 7 boxes of beef? Will this affect his fweng-shee for ever more?
I looked through the FAQs at the back and the chapter with examples but didn’t really find anything that matches. Can the next addition have a chapter on routines for baby agriculturalists, I.e., seasons of the year and their affect, not just age of mini crofters?
Yours faithfully,
The Crofting Wifie

Adaptations and applications of nursery rhymes:

Hey! Diddle, diddle,
Oh pants, what a fiddle!
The bull’s jumping over the gate.
The little crofter was in awe to see such a sport,
While the heifer ran off with her new mate!
Nothing like a little nursery rhyme to sing to yourself while running around trying to stop a bull…


How to guide: sorting cows

1. When chasing cows, make sure it’s done during A & E’s least busy times. No point doing an ankle injury during peak times. You never know if you may need the service so plan your day wisely.

2. Have extra ice in the freezer from collecting lamb from the abattoir to apply to said ankle while you observe the damage.

3. Get mini crofter on standby to start bawling to stop you from running recklessly around a field after countless attempts.

4. Use all terrain buggy as a prop to get back to the house. Two for one, much more use than crutch/zimmer frame and you don’t have to carry anything, i.e., bawling baby.

5. Och your a nurse, it’ll just be a sprain, just get back out and do a few ‘wee’ things, like moving electric fence wires and hoeing.

6. Ensure the mini crofter knows that beef is really tasty, particularly when your the one to chase them and if you’re on the croft, the more feet the better for chasing…