As the crow flies



Note from Crofting Wifie to self:
Loo lids are manufactured by people who don’t realise you need to stand on them to take pot shots at the local jackdaw population stealing eggs from your chicken coop. They therefore don’t last very long after just a few attempts of getting the pests.

Tim, just another job to add to your to do list when you get home (putting on a new lid, unless you want some romantic bonding shooting jackdaws together).

The next time we design a house, can we put in those thin slots that they have in castles for shooting out of? This velux window malarkey is seriously affecting my pest control.


IMG_1129Crofting Wifie’s parenting of the mini poacher:

Take up a new, simple task, like milking.

My limited window of time currently means several cheeses are off limits (the mini crofter hasn’t grasped the concept of needing to wait for a specific pH which has no concrete time length, very different to his self set stomach timer). Hence mozzarella has been the only cheese made.
Having said that, I tasted halloumi cheese the other night, it tasted just like some of my other cheeses that have gone wrong…

Applying coffee



Well Taylors of Harrogate, how did you know to label your coffee for the Crofting Wifie?

For those of you who want it expanded:
Lazy: Mini Crofter and I were only up 10 mins before the alarm, usually it’s several hours.
Sunday: As it says but can be applied to all days of the week

Laid back: In the grass, with a hand up a sheep…

Lovely: oh look, a new born lamb.

3: Yes, some people think this is referring to the coffee’s strength. However, there are various other interpretations; a) remember to check the lambing field at 3am when you’re up feeding wee one, b) the Crofter is only away for 3 weeks at a time, what could go wrong, or c) you will be onto 3 mugs a day by the time he gets home!

Sheep chase

Well Mini Crofter, we’re going on a sheep hunt, we’re going to chase the wee ‘un’. We’re going on a ewe hunt, before she has her lamb.
Bear? What bear? This is Scotland the brave Crofting boy (think Corries, land of t’ purple heather, land where the midgies gather), there’s nae bears. And besides, your mum has no time for the library at the moment so we’ll just enact the scenes if your pram could just detour the ewe from that gate and try not to roll into the electric fence…

Not much to do…

As I was returning home from a walk with Mini Crofter I met a lady visiting a neighbour. She commented that she had seen me out frequently, my response, it helps get the wee one to sleep. Her reply? “Aye, there’s not much really to do up here…”. My eyebrow raised slightly!!! She turned to look up at the croft before adding, “Well, I guess having animals helps”. I gave a weak smile, thinking ‘Aye, not much to do!?! Want to come give me a hand? There’s not enough hours in a day in terms of the escapades that this croft has seen this week!’


Pay a gym membership but want to save money? Looking at ways of getting more fresh air? Want to improve your fitness? Then look no further. I fully recommend a new form of exercise -it’s called return various animals back to original fields. Do this under a time limit as to when the mini crofter needs his next meal and you are sure to reach your step goals.
I have now returned 2 steers and 4 heifers (after one ran though and broke the electric), one ram who found an old rotten strainer post to join the neighbour’s ram, one steer who thought the bucket used to retrieve the ram was for him, one young calf who went frolicking while the hay bale was getting dropped off into the byre, and I currently have one blackface sheep on the wrong side. Oh, and lambing has now started! Anyone looking at improving their fitness and lending a hand to chase animals (and improve fencing) are more than welcome to stop by. Bring wellies, you may not need them but they make it more of a challenge to run.